By Kimberly Blaker
It likely comes as no surprise that keeping the romance alive in a relationship requires effort. But when women feel their romantic relationships are becoming stagnant, they often blame the man in their life for not being romantic enough.
Yet 44% of men say it bothers them “a lot” that their wife or girlfriend isn’t more romantic, according to a study of 80,000 participants by author Chrisanna Northrup.
So why not take the first step, and give your man the romance he’s craving?
Try the following to reap the reward of your man falling in love with you all over again.
• Be spontaneous. Routine and spontaneity are opposites. Routine, which typically sets in once a relationship is established, often leads to monotony. But what keeps relationships alive early on is the excitement of spontaneity, which lends itself to discovery about each other and new things. When couples lose their spontaneity, life becomes routine and dull. So practice spontaneity. Do things on a whim with your partner to awaken the feelings you both felt when your relationship first blossomed.
• Write him a love note. It doesn’t have to be lengthy, although it could be. Just a simple “I love you” or “I can’t wait to spend time with you this weekend” placed in his lunch box is sure to make his day. If you’re good with words, write him a poem. If not, borrow one, and leave it on his pillow.
• Laugh at his jokes and with him. Men love to be funny. So no matter how corny his jokes, genuinely laugh when he’s trying to be funny, even if you have to laugh because he’s so corny. Not only will your laughter boost his ego, but it’s good for your relationship, too.
But there’s more. Numerous studies, including a 2015 study by Laura E. Kurtz appearing in the “Personal Relationships” journal, have found shared laughter brings couples closer together. So look for opportunities to share laughter with your partner. Watch sitcoms, go to the comedy club, hang out with other fun couples, or be silly together.
• Physical affection. This is so simple and can be done anytime, any place. Hold hands when you’re watching TV or out and about. Kiss him on the cheek. When he’s sitting at the table, walk over and give him a shoulder massage. Pat him on the butt, or walk up from behind and wrap your arms around him. There are so many ways and opportunities to show your affection.
• Make his favorite dinner. The adage goes, a way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. So go all out, and prepare his favorite dinner and dessert. Don’t forget the candles, wine and soft music for a romantic ambiance.
• Take him on a date. Make a plan for something the two of you both enjoy but haven’t done in a while. Better yet, plan something special he particularly enjoys that you haven’t been keen to do with him in the past. Then, make the most of it, even if it isn’t your favorite activity, and let him know how much you enjoy seeing him happy and spending time with him. Do you need some ideas?
Go to a sporting event, concert, or play; visit a museum; or go golfing or bowling.
• Pay him a compliment. Everyone loves a compliment, especially from a significant other. Tell him how his blue shirt brings out his dreamy, blue eyes. Compliment his new haircut. Or let him know how much you appreciate his handyman skills. Look for genuine reasons to compliment him, often.
• Initiate sex. If your partner is the primary initiator of sex, you initiating it can go a long way toward making him fall in love all over again. Men need to feel desired as much as women do, according to a survey conducted by Sarah Hunter Murray, Ph.D., in “Men Need to Feel Desired by Their Partners, Too.” So practice coming on to your man more often.
• Give him a gift. Men don’t place as much importance on receiving gifts as women. Still, it can be a very romantic and meaningful gesture when done out of the blue. Look for something he’ll love such as tickets to a game, a favorite movie on DVD, or something useful for his favorite hobby or sporting activity.
• Show him your unconditional love. Women often fall for and marry men with the idea they can “fix him.” Over time, this results in constant badgering for a man to change, wreaking havoc on his romantic feelings. So learn to accept your partner’s shortcomings, and love him unconditionally. You’ll likely see your man’s romantic side shine through again.
• Spoon with him. Cuddle with your guy before falling asleep and when you wake up. It’ll make you both happier and improve your relationship because of the endorphins it releases, particularly oxytocin, the love hormone.
• Tell him you love him in a deep and meaningful way. During a romantic moment, tell him, “You’re my soul mate,” “I want to be with you forever,” “You make my life whole,” or whatever you honestly feel for him.
• Give him a massage. Even men enjoy getting pampered. So give him a foot or back massage, or have him strip down for a full body treatment. Massage also increases oxytocin. So it can improve the romance in your relationship.